


Alternative Team Dynamics

by Raj_Sound



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:48:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27580055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raj_Sound/pseuds/Raj_Sound
Summary: “Okay, for those of you that skipped middle school, we’re going to play Spin the Bottle,” Jeff explains. “Only instead of spending Seven Minutes in Heaven with whoever the bottle lands on, we partner up with that person for the scavenger hunt instead.”
Relationships: Annie Edison/Jeff Winger
Comments: 25
Kudos: 61
Collections: Community Discord Scavenger Hunt





	Alternative Team Dynamics

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CeleryLapel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeleryLapel/gifts).



> Aka. Chapter 2: the hunt. A continuation of The Setup by CeleryLapel. Recommended that you read that first. It (sort of) takes place in my _Intro to Community Fanfiction_ , in case there's confusion as to why Troy, Shirley, and Pierce are around alongside Frankie.
> 
> This originated from the wonder Community Discord fanfics-channel. If you aren't in there already, come join us!

The Save Greendale Committee lets Dean Pelton’s announcement hang in the air for a moment, contemplating the implications. Jeff looks bemused, Annie determined, Abed unreadable, Troy confused, Britta indignant, Shirley surly, and it is unclear if Pierce was paying attention at all.

Jeff is the first to speak. “Okay. Well that was…perfectly normal by Greendale standards,” he says. At another school, this might be considered a little odd. Around here, this is a Tuesday. “Annie, do we have any more committee business, or are we going to drop everything and do this stupid scavenger hunt?”

Annie looks over her binder one more time before closing it. She looks to her left and sees Jeff grinning at her from her old seat. She’s still getting used to the new seating arrangement now that she’s in charge of the committee. “We’re going to drop everything and do this stupid scavenger hunt,” she declares.

“Do we really want to be a part of this?” Britta asks. “We all know where this leads.” Nothing is ever simple around here.

“It’s practically a tradition at this point,” Troy shrugs. 

“I know I said it was played out, but I’m back on board,” Abed adds, referring to the prize, not the event itself.

“It doesn’t hurt to be prepared,” Pierce chimes in. “Scout’s motto.”

Shirley sighs. “I’ll call Andre and let him know I’ll be late. Again,” she says sullenly.

“So, we’re all agreed?” Annie asks. She doesn’t wait for a response. “Great. Meeting adjourned. Now, please tell me someone wrote down the clues?”

The others mumble indistinctly.

“Seriously? No one?”

More mumbling. Honestly, what was she expecting?

“Ugh. Fine,” Annie mutters. “First clue: I have keys, but I don’t lock anything. I write but I don’t think. I make a moderate amount of noise and am incredibly useful.”

Jeff fiddles with his phone for a moment. “Typewriter,” he announces a few seconds later. “Possibly a piano.”

“Okay. Second clue: My words number many. My title is explained under my cover.”

“Dictionary,” Jeff replies. Annie beams with pride at how smart her boyfriend is, but her smile fades when she sees that he’s texting someone. Seriously? Who is he texting. Unless...

“Jeff! Are you looking up the answers on your phone?” Annie cries indignantly.

“He didn’t say we couldn’t,” Jeff replies with a patented _Jeff Winger_ smirk. Annie swats him anyway.

Abed ignores the flirting. “Also, these riddles are really easy. The other answers are desk, tulips, and clock,” he says. “Desk could be a table, but the others are a lock.”

“Really? That’s it?” Shirley asks skeptically. “It can’t be that simple.”

“Or maybe it only seems simple on the surface,” Troy says, his eyes alight with the possibilities. “Maybe there’s another riddle, hidden inside the riddles. Like _National Treasure_.”

Everyone but Abed throws a ball of paper or something at Troy.

“Troy. We all agreed. We don’t mention _He Who Must Not Be Named_ in front of Abed,” Jeff says firmly. He’s referring to Nicholas Cage, not Voldemort, which everyone but Pierce picks up on. “We don’t want him to have another episode.”

“I’ll be fine,” Abed replies. “I’m not due for another nervous breakdown until Christmas.”

“So, we know the answers to the riddles, but what do the riddles mean?” Britta asks, mostly herself. “I think we need to get inside the Dean’s head.”

“You sure you want to open that box?” Shirley asks. “Some mysteries are best left unsolved.”

“You’re giving Dean Dangerous too much credit,” Jeff says flatly.

Annie agrees. “I think we might be making this thing harder than it needs to be,” she says gently.

“I don’t think we’re making it hard enough,” Britta retorts. “I can make it so much harder.”

She is blissfully unaware of the double-entendre.

“His old lover said to his new lover.”

Until Pierce points it out.

The entire committee groans at a grinning Pierce.

“Oh, come on,” Pierce says jovially. “I’m sorry ladies, but if you’re gonna tee one up like that, I’m gonna take a swing at it.”

The others admit through barely audible mumbles and murmers that he has a point.

“We’re wasting time,” Jeff declares, temporarily reasserting his place as the de facto leader of the group. “We should split into teams. Annie, you’re with me. Troy, you go with Abed. Britta, you’re with Shirley. Pierce, stay here and keep lookout. Ready? Break.”

Normally this would be the point where they would leap into action and go do the things.

“Hold on. Why do you get Annie?” Britta asks.

Unless of course, someone decided to be a giant freaking buzzkill _Britta_.

“Annie and I always team up together,” Jeff says matter-of-factly. Technically a wild exaggeration, but now that they’re a couple, they do make a point of spending more time together, and not just in a romantic context.

“We’re a really good team,” Annie adds. An understatement if there ever was one. Whenever Annie and Jeff went up against the world together, the world backed down first every time.

“They’re an even better team now that they’re past the ‘would they, might they’ phase and are in a happy, committed relationship,” Abed notes.

“See? Abed gets it.” Tension is good, but fulfillment is more...fulfilling.

“Yeah, well Shirley and I are a terrible team,” Britta replies. “No offense Shirley.”

“None taken,” Shirley says, though her tone suggests she’s a little offended. “I get along with everyone else in the group just fine. Even Pierce,” she adds passive-aggressively.

“Thank you. Did I mention how ravishing you look today?” Pierce asks.

“Don’t push it.”

“This is just an excuse for you two to go make out in a supply closet or something,” Britta insists, pointing a judgey finger in Jeff and Annie’s directions.

Annie gasps indignantly. It doesn’t help her case.

“I have an office,” Jeff says dryly. It doesn’t help his case either, but he doesn’t really care.

“Isn’t your ‘office’ basically a supply closet?” Britta teases. She’s not far off. It doesn’t even have a window. Technically it’s against the fire code to use it as an office. It’s on Annie’s fix-it list.

“I agree with Britta. You two can sin on your own time.”

“She does have a point,” Troy chimes in reluctantly. He regrets throwing Annie under the bus like that, but he’s been trying to be extra nice to Britta after the breakup, and simply agreeing with whatever she says is the best way to get in her good graces.

Annie does not appreciate being thrown under the bus like that. “Fine. Now that you mention it, we should probably split up you and Abed,” she replies angrily.

“Why would we do that?” Abed asks. He doesn’t like this.

“You two get distracted too easily! One time I asked them to pick up some milk from the grocery store and they came back with a piñata,” Annie explains.

“She’s right,” Pierce nods. "You two are like ADHD meets Asperger’s.”

“Offensive, but true. I would know. I read the DSM. That’s the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders for you laypeople,” Britta says, her voice dripping with Dunning-Kruger levels of unjustified confidence.

“That sounded a lot cooler in your head, didn’t it?” Jeff smirks.

“I reject your diagnosis,” Abed adds cooly.

“Yeah!” Troy says defensively. “Abed doesn’t have ADHD.”

“He’s talking about you Troy.”

“Read the room dude,” Pierce chortles.

Troy scowls. “Says the guy who gets picked last every time. Yeah, I said it,” Troy says defiantly.

Jeff groans. “Why did you put a nickel in that jukebox?”

“I don’t know. Why do you people insist on ditching me the first opportunity you get?” Pierce yells.

“It’s a scavenger hunt. No offense, but you’re not exactly the most observant person in the world,” Annie explains, kindly, but firmly.

“Objection!” Pierce shouts.

“What color are Abed’s eyes?” Jeff asks.

“No looking!” Annie adds. Abed covers his eyes for good measure.

“Withdrawn,” Pierce grumbles.

“Gayeee!”

The entire group groans as Chang takes a seat next to Annie in Jeff’s old chair.

“Who let him in?” Shirley asks incredulously.

“Bitch, I am everywhere!” Chang roars.

“You wanna try that again little man?”

Chang blanches under the ferocity of Shirley’s gaze, but he doesn’t withdraw. “All I’m saying is if you want to win this little contest, then maybe it’s time you Chang up your little group’s dynamic,” he says coyly.

Jeff is not having it. “First of all, stop shoehorning Chang into things,” he says coldy. “Second, it’s painfully obvious that you’re just trying to con your way into the group again. Which insane, given that you tried to kill all of us. Third, while your superior knowledge of the ventilation system would no doubt give us an edge in this stupid scavenger hunt, I think I speak for all of us when I say we’re not prepared accept the risk of having a psychotic gremlin on our team.”

“Racist! You’re all racists. Especially you,” he says menacingly, pointing at Troy.

“Why especially me?”

“I say let him stay. This way Shirley will have a partner,” Pierce declares.

“Do what now?”

“Look, Jeffrey, I mean no disrespect...” Pierce begins.

“He said, about to say something disrespectful.”

“But your ideas are all crap. Obviously, Annie should be with Britta, Troy should be with Jeffrey. Ay-bed should be with me and Shirley should be with Chang.”

“And why is that?” Jeff asks.

“Look, Annie, I’d love to partner with you, but Britta needs someone responsible to keep her from getting high in the bathroom. You’re the most responsible one in the group, so that falls to you,” Pierce explains.

“Hey!” Britta protests.

“Pick your battles Britta,” Annie says gently. Jeff shoots her a look which she pointedly ignores.

“And if that doesn’t work, you can always draw upon your deep well of sexual charisma in order to seduce Britta into bending to your will,” Pierce says proudly. Everyone stares at him. “Because she’s a lesbian,” he adds, unnecessarily.

Jeff takes Annie’s hand and squeezes it as she lets out a frustrated sigh. “And this is why…” he starts.

“...we don’t take Pierce’s side,” Annie finishes.

“Jeffrey, Troy needs a strong male role model in his life. Ideally that would be me, but I think you’re up to the challenge,” Pierce continues.

“Um, thanks?”

“Where are you going with this?” Troy asks.

Pierce ignores him. “Shirley will take Chang, since she’s the only one that can keep him in line.”

“You know it,” Chang grins.

“The Lord is testing me today,” Shirley mutters.

“And I’ll be with Rain Man, and together we’ll knock this out before lunch,” Pierce finishes proudly.

“It’s three thirty,” Jeff says sarcastically.

“I know what time it is! I had a late breakfast! All in favor?”

No one but Chang raises their hand, and even he puts his hand down after Shirley glares him into submission.

“We’re going about this all wrong,” Abed announces. “We should divide into teams of four, not pairs.”

“Why?” Britta asks. “We’ll cover less ground.”

“But we’ll be more thorough and less prone to getting distracted by sex…”

“Hey!” Jeff and Annie protest simultaneously.

“...arguments…”

“He’s talking about you,” Britta and Pierce say over each other.

“...or both.”

Shirley and Chang say nothing. Shirley continues to glare at Chang and Chang flashes her a smile that was probably meant to be flirtatious, but comes off as deeply creepy.

“I’ll lead one team. Troy will lead the other,” Abed declares.

“But then we won’t be on the same team,” Troy objects.

“Giant cookie,” Abed replies.

It’s enough to get Troy on board. “Right. Got it. I call Jeff.”

“I’ll take Annie.”

“Britta for Team Troy.”

“And Shirley for Team Abed.”

“What a surprise. I got picked last. Typical,” Pierce huffs.

“Aren’t you forgetting someone?” Chang says with a little wave.

“He’s still here?” Pierce asks. “Fine. I’m with Troy and Ay-bed gets the crazy Asian.”

Troy hesitates.

“Really Troy?” Pierce demands incredulously.

“I’m thinking.”

“Troy, you’re taking too long,” Annie complains. “This is starting to seem kind of mean.”

“Fine,” Troy mutters. “Pierce, you’re with us.”

“Screw you,” Pierce blusters. “I didn’t want to be on your stupid team anyway.”

Shirley has just about lost her patience with this foolishness. “Why are we even doing teams of four anyway?” she asks irritably. “We should just split up and search individually. We can cover more ground that way and maybe I can get home at a decent hour for once.”

“That’s a weak concept,” Abed notes. “No one wants to watch us wandering around looking for random crap by ourselves.”

“Wait. People are watching us?” Chang asks, looking horrified. “Who? The government?”

“It’s called the Patriot Act. Look it up,” Britta proclaims.

“Have you ever even read the Patriot Act?” Jeff asks, already knowing the answer.

“It’s so long,” Britta complains.

“I really think we need partners to keep us on task,” Annie insists. “And awake. Pierce!”

“What?” Pierce snorts. “ I wasn’t sleeping.” A lie.

“It’s past his naptime,” Troy notes. Old people need naps. It’s like, a scientific fact.

“You just had to wake him up. Now he’ll be up for hours,” Shirley complains.

“I am tired of you people infantilizing me,” Pierce complains. “Now, where’s my juice box?” Ever prepared, Shirley fetches one out of her purse for him. She also puts the straw through the little hole for him when he fails to do so on his own.

“Sorry Shirley, but Annie’s right,” Britta says. “We should partner up. I say Annie goes with Pierce. Put our strongest link with our weakest.” 

“I resent that,” Pierce objects. “How dare you call Annie the weakest link? She’s the best and brightest out of all of us.”

“He’s not wrong,” Jeff says warmly. He shares a smile with Annie, then lifts her hand to his lips and places an affectionate kiss on her knuckles. Annie beams at the compliment and the display of affection.

Everyone else groans and throws stuff at them.

“Troy and Shirley can go together,” Britta continues. It occurs to her that she probably should have come up with a reason to pair them together. She still hasn’t found one when she continues speaking. “Not because you’re both…”

“Christians?” Shirley asks Miss White Feminism shrewdly.

“I thought you said Jehovah’s Witnesses aren’t real Christians,” Abed reminds her.

“There are two atheists, _yes I’m counting you Jeffrey_ , a Jew, a Muslim, and whatever the hell Pierce is in this group. I’ll take what I can get.”

“Okay…” Britta says, a little confused on how the topic shifted to religion and without a proper segue to get them back on track. She powers through without one. “What I was going to say is that you and I don’t work well together and Abed seems to be able to keep Chang calm and happy for some reason.”

“It’s true,” Chang nods. “He’s very soothing. He has such soulful eyes. Like a baby deer.”

“Creepy,” Annie says, scooting her chair away from Chang and closer to Jeff. Abed shrugs. He’s heard it before.

“And if Abed is with Chang, that leaves me and Jeff,” Britta says, seeming oddly pleased with that arrangement.

The rest of the group bursts out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Britta asks with a frown.

“That is a _terrible_ idea,” Annie says through peals of laughter.

“You will literally spend the entire time arguing. About nothing,” Troy adds. 

“I’ll have you know that Jeff and I have teamed up plenty of times,” Britta insists.

“And each time, we spent the entire time arguing,” Jeff replies.

“No, we didn’t.”

“Yes, we did.”

“No, we didn’t.”

“Yes, we did. We’re doing it now,” Jeff says, gesturing at the space across the table between them. “We’re literally arguing about how much we argue.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“No idea,” Jeff replies, though his tone suggests he has an opinion about it. “Why are you so determined to team up with me all of the sudden? Why don’t you partner up with Troy?”

“You just want me to team up with Troy so you can have your little girlfriend all to yourself,” Britta complains.

“Sitting right here,” Annie says, not particularly thrilled at being referred to so dismissively.

“I’m sorry. I like spending time with my girlfriend. I guess that makes me a selfish monster,” Jeff says, amping up his usual level of sarcasm to hammer the point home. What is her problem?

“You know, there is such at thing as too much of a good thing."

“Like a giant cookie!” Troy says eagerly. Jeff and Britta both glare at him. “Not the time to bring that up.”

“I’m just saying, maybe there are some other relationships in your life that you’ve been neglecting lately,” she hints without subtlety.

Jeff still misses it entirely. “I don’t need a lecture on relationships from a woman who doesn’t wear underwear because she can’t remember to do laundry like a thirty-year-old teenager,” he sneers.

“Says the guy who made out with an _actual_ teenager,” Britta shouts.

“Still sitting right here,” Annie points out to anyone who might be paying attention.

“Does anyone else want a snack?” Pierce asks. “It looks like we’re going to be here for a while.”

“Get popcorn and soda,” Abed requests. “This is turning into another bottle episode.”

“Sorry buddy,” Troy says sympathetically. Abed hates bottle episodes.

Abed shrugs. “I’ve made peace with it. Right now, there’s a scavenger hunt of epic proportions happening outside those doors and we’re missing it. It’s fine. I’d much rather watch this Three’s Company reboot,” he says sarcastically. At least, Abed’s version of sarcastically. “I was being sarcastic if that wasn’t clear.”

“Do you seriously have a problem with me and Annie?” Jeff demands.

“No, you idiot. I helped get you guys together, remember?” Britta replies.

“Then what is your problem?”

“Oh gee. I don’t know. Maybe the fact that you act like hanging out with me is torture?” Britta says. She sounds almost...hurt.

“We hang out all the time,” Jeff says incredulously. The six of them are basically Jeff’s entire social circle at this point. What is she even talking about?

“When was the last time we hung out, just the two of us?” Britta demands. “We’re supposed to be friends. But you _never_ want to hang out with me. Even back when we were…whatever, you only came looking for me whenever you were feeling horny and insecure and then as soon as we were done, you’d go right back to your little cutesy capers with Annie.”

“Do you really want to go there?” Jeff growls. As far as he’s concerned, the Jeff/Britta ship sank a long time ago and wasn’t worth mentioning, especially not in front of Annie.

“You know what? I do want to go there. This has been a long time coming. I don’t know if it occurred to you Winger, but it was really shitty of you to hook up with me while you were falling in love with her,” Britta says pointing at Annie angrily. 

“You knew what we were doing,” Jeff says, although suddenly he’s not so sure anymore.

“No, I _thought_ I knew what we were doing. I thought we were just two friends having a little sweaty fun. I didn’t realize I was just a stand-in while you worked out how you felt about someone else,” Britta says bitterly. “That hurt Jeff. That really hurt.”

“I…didn’t know you felt that way.”

“Yeah, well you never asked," Britta mutters. It’s an old wound, but it still aches, since it never healed properly. “Look, I’m happy for you guys. I really am. I just...don’t like being used, is all.”

Jeff realizes, not for the first and probably not for the last time, that he has a bad habit of taking the women in his life for granted. So far he’s made good on the promise not to make the same mistake with Annie, but the other women in his life, his mother, Shirley, and most of all Britta, they’re still a work in progress.

“You’re right,” Jeff says quietly. “Seriously, you’re right. I’m sorry Britta. And I’m sorry I didn’t apologize sooner. You deserve better.”

“I guess,” Britta shrugs. Sure, he sounds sincere, but he’s Jeff Winger. He’s good at sounding like he means what he says, especially when he doesn’t.

Jeff looks to Annie, as he often does when he needs love, support, advice, encouragement, and in this case, moral insight. She doesn’t have to say anything. Her eyes and that little smile she only shares with him tell him everything he needs to know.

“You know what? If it’s okay with the rest of you, I think Britta and I should partner up on this one,” Jeff says like it’s no big deal.

“You don’t have to do that,” Britta says. She’s just being dramatic. Typical Britta. Making a big deal about nothing.

Jeff doesn’t let her off the hook. “I want to,” he insists. “We haven’t hung out in a while, just the two of us. It’ll be fun.”

Britta smiles. “Thanks Jeff,” she says, glad to have her friend back.

“Great,” Abed says, glad to be past the emotional denouement so they can move on to the fun part. “So, if Jeff is with Britta, that means I can go with Annie, Troy goes with Shirley, and Pierce goes with Chang.”

“Why do I get stuck with Chang?” Pierce complains.

“We’re best friends!” Chang cries, even though it was only for like, two hours. “What happened to friendship? What Chang’d?”

“I don’t want to get a crick in my neck checking my back for a knife!”

Chang gasps with righteous indignation. “Et tu, Brute?”

“¿Qué está diciendo?” Pierce replies.

“That was Latin, not Spanish,” Jeff says dryly.

“How would you know? Chang was your Spanish teacher,” Troy challenges.

“It’s a reference to the play Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare,” Abed explains. Everyone stares at him. To their knowledge, he has never made a literary reference. “What? I read too.”

“I hate to say this, but I think the only fair way to do this is to pick teams at random,” Troy says.

“I didn’t bring my dice,” Abed replies.

“Anyone have a bottle?” Jeff asks.

“I do,” Chang says. He fishes a bottle out of his pocket. “Oh wait, this one’s broken. Let me give you another one.” He hands Jeff an intact bottle, then takes the broken beer bottle back and shoves it into his pocket, jagged edge first.

“Okay, for those of you that skipped middle school, we’re going to play Spin the Bottle,” Jeff explains. “Only instead of spending Seven Minutes in Heaven with whoever the bottle lands on, we partner up with that person for the scavenger hunt instead.”

“How do we pick who spins the bottle?” Pierce asks.

“Does it matter?” Shirley asks.

“It might. The person spinning the bottle might alter their spin in an attempt to get their preferred partner,” Abed explains.

“Why is everyone looking at me?” Jeff asks. Everyone stares at him. Even Annie, though her gaze is more sympathetic than judgemental. “Fine. I won’t spin. You guys are jerks.”

“I’ll go first,” Britta volunteers. She places the bottle on the table and gives it a good spin.

In the moments that follow, several things happen, seemingly in slow motion. The bottle lands on Chang. Britta looks at the bottle, then up at Chang with an expression of concern and annoyance. Chang looks at her with adoration and manic glee, then puts his hand on the table and leans toward her. Britta’s expression shifts from concern to righteous rage as Chang closes his eyes and leans in closer, determined to lock lips with her. Britta winds up her fist as Chang’s tongue flicks between his lips, because his wife left him a long time ago, and go big or go home, right?

And finally, time speeds up to normal again as Britta’s fist connects squarely with Chang’s stupid face, smashing his nose with a satisfying crack. He falls back into his chair, crying and bleeding down his chin and onto his shirt.

“Oh come on!” Chang sobs. His voice is distorted by his blood-clogged nose. “That was uncalled for.”

“You tried to shove your tongue down my throat!” Britta roars.

“There was definitely an intense kiss lean,” Abed points out.

“You spun the bottle and it landed on me! What was I supposed to do?” Chang cries.

Jeff pinches his nose and closes his eyes. “You were supposed to go with Britta on the scavenger hunt. The thing we’ve been talking about this entire time!”

“I want a mulligan,” Britta mutters.

“There are no mulligans in Spin the Bottle,” Pierce says, as if the rules of Spin the Bottle are sacred.

“Well, I’m not going with Chang!” Britta declares. “And I for one think that none of the women here should have to be alone with him.”

“I’ll second that,” Annie says, raising her hand.

“I’ll third it,” Shirley chimes in.

“Why don’t I spin?” Troy says, trying to get things back on track.

He spins. It lands on Pierce. Troy doesn’t bother to hide his disappointment. “Eh. Whatever,” he mutters.

“You were trying to get it to land on me, weren’t you?” Abed asks.

“I put too much spin on it.”

“Gee, thanks Troy,” Pierce scoffs.

“My turn?” Abed asks. No one objects, so he spins. At first, he gets himself, but since he can’t be his own partner, he spins again. It lands on Shirley. “Cool. Cool, cool, cool.”

“You don’t mind getting stuck with me?” Shirley asks.

“Not at all. We don’t pair up very often. I’m curious to see what kind of hijinks we get up to,” Abed says eagerly. Shirley seems pleased.

“You realize this leaves Jeff with Annie, right?” Pierce says, pointing out the fact that they’re the only two remaining without partners.

Figures.

“I still don’t want to work with Chang,” Britta complains. For once, her complaints are entirely justified.

“I’ll take Chang,” Jeff says. “You can go with Annie.”

“If we’re trading partners, I want to team up with Troy,” Abed interjects.

“We’re not trading partners.”

“But you just did.”

Jeff shakes his head. “Not the same. You’re trading to get the partner you want. I’m taking one for the team,” he explains.

“Wow,” Britta says approvingly. “You are. I’m proud of you Jeff.”

“Well, if anyone should be stuck with a sexual deviant who may or may not have borderline personality disorder, it’s me,” Jeff replies.

“Character growth. Nice,” Abed nods.

“I’m still in the room. You guys are so mean to me!” Chang complains. He’s still bleeding and crying.

“You did just try to suck Britta’s face off,” Troy says threateningly.

“It was a misunderstanding!”

“You pretended to have _Changnesia_ ,” Annie reminds him.

“And we believed you,” Britta piles on.

“No one can prove that I didn’t,” Chang insists.

“Also, and I know we have a habit of trying to minimize this, but let’s not forget that _you tried to kill us!_ ” Jeff says, grabbing the smaller man by the collar and shaking him for emphasis.

“Stop throwing my crimes in my face! How are people supposed to forget what a bad person I am if you keep reminding them?” Chang complains.

With that, the group descends into a number of different indiscernible among themselves with increasing volume and intensity and the occasional thrown object, including paper balls, pens, and probably a stapler. It’s so loud and confusing that they all fail to notice someone knocking at the door.

“What is going on in here?” Frankie asks incredulously as she opens the door. The Save Greendale Committee, plus Chang, are all frozen in place mid-argument, staring at her like she’s some kind of alien life form.

“Can we help you?” Annie asks, slowly lowering the binder she was definitely not about to bash Chang over the head with to the table.

“I thought you all might want to know that the scavenger hunt is over,” Frankie replies.

“Seriously?” Shirley shouts.

“Who won?” Abed asks.

“One of our older students,” Frankie replies, checking her clipboard. “Leonard Rodriguez?”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Jeff says, taking this revelation as a personal insult.

“Why?” Frankie asks, confused. “I read the clues. A child could figure them out.”

“What does Leonard want with a Tippmann TMC magfed Paintball gun?” Troy demands. “He’s got the reflexes of a narcoleptic sloth.”

“Maybe he thinks it will give him an edge in the next paintball assassin,” Britta shrugs.

Frankie blanches. She finds the knowledge of this prize deeply unsettling. “ _That_ was the prize? A paintball gun?” she says incredulously. “For the love of God. Listen to me very carefully. There is not going to be another game of paintball assassin.”

“You say that, but…” Annie starts

“It’s not really up to you,” Jeff finishes. It is Greendale, after all. 

Frankie is still new around here, but she’s been here long enough to recognize a lost cause. She decides to focus on problems she can solve. “Annie, we may need to replace the locks on campus,” she explains. “One of the students stopped listening after Craig said the ‘I have keys’ part of his riddle and now one of the janitors has a concussion and is missing a set of keys.”

“That might have been me,” Chang admits. He reaches into his pockets. There are no keys in his hands when they emerge, but he does find broken glass. “I do not know where I put them. And I may need to go see the nurse.”

“I’ll add it to the list,” Annie says cheerfully.

“Thank you,” Frankie replies wearily. “I’m going to go find some aspirin.” With that, she leaves, and so does Chang, leaving the Save Greendale Committee to go about the business of...saving Greendale.

“Okay. Well, we can order new locks, or we can look for the missing keys,” Annie says thoughtfully.

“I vote keys,” Britta says, mainly because that sounds way easier. She points to the others around the room. “Keys? Keys? Keys?”

Everyone nods in agreement.

“Look at that,” Jeff says proudly. “We can agree on something.”

It’s like their fight never even happened. Everyone is downright cheerful.

“Should we start searching?” Abed asks.

It was nice while it lasted.

“Yes,” Annie declares. “We should split into teams. Jeff, you’re with me…”


End file.
